Sunday March 18, 2018
Surrender, Beautiful Surrender…
To surrender is to cease resistance. Lay down one’s arms.
Perhaps, surrender is waving the white flag in war. Or maybe, it is relinquishing our sense of control for something supremely better. For some, surrender is a difficult word, a threatening word. It can be equated with a sense of powerlessness or loss of self. For those who have been wounded, surrender can leave a bitter taste in the mouth and make us cringe. In a world where terror reigned and a little one had no power, surrender is very very scary.
I would like to share a different perspective if you don’t mind.
In this journey, I have felt those things many many times. My heart, hungry to control something, so I would try to control everything. It works for a while but it is exhausting. I find that I actually long for the peace and the rest that surrender brings.
I titled this Surrender Beautiful Surrender because there is a gift in surrender that is often misconstrued. Surrender isn’t a stripping of power or a loss. Loss of ‘self’ perhaps. It is beautiful. It is being at the end of ourselves with nothing left to lose, NOTHING left to lose. And in letting go, He knocks our socks off. By God’s grace, I am learning that surrendering to Jesus, my Papa God is exhilarating, liberating, peaceful & full of hope. At some junctures, it is necessary to life- like now.
There is a book called The Ragman by Walter Wangerin. One of my favorites. It is a beautiful story about surrender and exchange. Beauty for ashes. The Ragman moves through the city streets in the wee hours of the morning, “Rags, rags- new rags for old. I take your tired rags.” With each encounter in the story, The Ragman took on the bleeding, the brokenness, the grief and the infirmities of each person he met. Each time he met someone, He took what they were suffering and made the great exchange. Unbelievable exchanges. The Ragman, The Christ took it all on and left the one who made the exchange, whole and healed. Oh to be loved so much that someone would take all things that have broken us, all the things that cause us pain, all the things that have hurt our bodies…but He does. He does.
Truth is, Jesus did that for us. He did it in one sacrificial, temporarily fatal event. He died so that we could live. He was beaten so that we could be healed. The thing is, it wasn’t a one time event. He does it every minute of every day- offering new rags for old. Offering wholeness for brokenness. Offering beauty for ashes. Offering to take the weight of what we carry so that we don’t have to do it alone.
I don’t know why we hold on so tight. What have we got to lose? Some pain? some impossible circumstance? Some grief that time itself does not heal. Surrender, in this context is a beautiful and graceful exchange. It feels like a dance. Breathing on the other side of surrender is so much easier. I find that I am longing to surrender more and more because I have grown to trust My Jesus, My Papa, My Ragman, My Christ.
Sometimes, it is not possible to know entirely what we will be left with after the exchange but you can bet all your lollipops that it will be good and it will be supreme in comparison to what we were holding onto. After all, what can we really affect in our own power? what can we really control outside of total surrender?
This place, this precipice I am standing in front of is terrifying to say the least. Do I hold onto some false sense of control or do I fall into His arms in complete assurance that He will catch me? I am learning to fall and I KNOW that He will catch me, He does every time!
There is a beautiful worship song that we sang at our Women’s Retreat last weekend. It is called,”In Over My Head”- Bethal Music
“Come and do whatever you want to…would you come and tear down the boxes that I have tried to put you in, let love come teach me who You are again…further and further my heart moves away from the shore. Whatever it looks like, whatever may come, I am Yours. Then you crash over me and I’ve lost control but I’m FREE. I’m going under, I’m over my head. Whether I sink or whether I swim, it makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head.”
Yes, I am in over my head. I would rather believe in the ONLY one who makes the impossible, possible. His promises are perfect. He can only give good gifts to His children. He cannot lie.
Surrender, Beautiful Surrender.