Hi folks,
I had great and brave intentions to write a Sunday’s ART of Truth but my heart won’t let me. Or rather, it is speaking too much that my mind cannot take a step.
My heart for my blog and writing has always been to share the goodness of God, the beautiful healing that comes from a brave heart & and the enduring hope that is needed to continue on this journey…
But, this last week has worn my heart out and it can’t form words to write as I would normally do. I don’t have any words to share if grand hope, Sunshine abs flowers.
It is not something I can write about or I fear my heart will break entirely.
Sometimes, the journey is being in the rink with grief, old and dried up sorrow, and the deepest disappointing reckoning that can occur in our hearts and minds. Sometimes, it is about being quiet, staying safe, and waiting for something to shift.
Sometimes, there just are not pretty words. I hope to never get to a place where I am no longer real or able to influence and encourage from a place of deep knowing. So, no pretty words (well, sometimes they look good on paper) but they feel yucky inside.
Sometimes, that’s ok? Yes?
God is still God even though I feel lost.
There is still hope in me, but it is crushing right now. Yes, hope can crush the broken heart.
There is still beauty healing for a brave heart, but today- not so much.
I shared a quote in my Facebook a couple of days ago, I think…it said “It’s the beautiful that hurts the worst, not the ugly.”
In front of me are two choices- embrace and believe in the beautiful when my whole heart is exposed or stitch it back up, closed tight, blocked from light and hope.
Do you ever find yourself in that place? If you do, please know that it’s okay to be where you are and feel what you feel. To deny it, denies your very precious heart.
Yes, we need to grow and risk and bloody lay everything on the line for that one thing that we are most afraid of…but, be still my heart- I am listening. First, I am listening.
I know this was a bit dark but I still believe that if this part of my journey helps someone else to not feel alone, then i will speak even of sadness and despair. Passion and fight. Doubt and faith.
So dear sisters of Brave Hearts, please be gentle with you. Tell yourself it will be ok. It doesn’t feel ok, I know. Feel. Honor. Listen. Then put one foot in front of the other 💛
The only are today was this heart. Underneath all the paint are pictures and words of things I love. Covered with thick acrylic paint, even my art heart could not move past this…but it’s ok. It is enough.
