Hello friends and family…as promised, here is the Sunday’s ART of Truth on the mixed media canvas from my YouTube video.
To be honest, I have been dreading this for days, and not knowing why. When the piece came together, it felt beautiful and lovely on all sides (even the bricks were ‘pretty’) As the days moved on, I found myself moving further and further from that truth. I was unaware of how far I had moved from it.
First, a little story. There is this lovely lady, a sister to another lovely lady. She entered my life several years ago and began touching my heart from the first moment we met. I had no idea what Jesus was doing or going to do. We joke now about that first meeting- she was a ‘carrot pusher’. Yes, she was pushing carrots on me. Like a good mom, eat your veggies. But it was like balm to my heart and soul. She captured me…for such a time as this. Fast forward a few years, the gentle healer slowly began to peel away the scab that was covering over the mom wound in me. We all have wounds in us, wounds left by those who bore us or raised us or whatever. This makes my heart exceedingly sad. For me, I had denied that my heart hurt, that I was missing something, that I needed something. But Jesus, He knew just the size of the wound, He knows- even now, how big it still is.
This writing is not to talk about my mom but I ask even now as I write that the God of all comfort is with her, loving her, healing her. This would hurt any mamas heart…if she were to read it. I know that one day, all will be well with my soul and hers.
So the back story on this art piece. It popped us as a memory in my Facebook newsfeed from a couple of years ago “I am blooming from the wound where I once bled” – Rune Lazuli. When I saw it, I knew I must create it and write it. The creating was the easy part, the writing is harder. But, as with everything I create and everything I have the honor of writing about, I know that it is worth the cost of the revisiting because it will speak to someone- He promised it.
What does it mean to bloom from the wound where we once bled? To me, it means we first make a choice to enter in on sacred bloody ground and visit our yesterdays. Our places of pain and longing. Our memories and our fears. The lies we have believed and the choices we make out of that place. To bloom from that place is to allow our soul to sit with it long enough until the haunting is over, the darkness lifts and a slit of light breaks through. Standing on those places is horrific. It is the last place we want to be. But, it is also the place of greatest beauty because it is the place of greatest redemption and love. In that place, the hole that the wound left is cultivated by truth and desire and hope. The ground is turned and filled with the nutrients of acceptance, love, forgiveness, mercy, letting go…moving on. And, while we are not even watching- a tiny green bit pokes through the soul. It can…because it is bathed in love and in the light of the Son (Jesus) And, again, while we feel like we are just doing life, living, loving, working, pushing…the flower shoots up. It is strong, because it has been tended to with great love. It is sacred ground, you see?
The heart that is courageous has been waiting and hoping for this. Others see the flower, the flowers, the garden, the plot that was once a graveyard of memory and pain has now become a garden of beauty and strength and tomorrows.
So…as I write this even now, I am keenly aware of why I felt reluctant. Love tastes and feels good. It is the most lovely thing we can ever share with another human being. But, love is risky. It is scary. Hope hurts. The hole still has a voice and sometimes it still screams inside. No one likes the screams from that place.
The canvas portrays a beautiful garden of flowers on top of a rocky, brick lain underground. References of Paris- oh the beauty of Paris. Who doesn’t love the idea of Paris? There is a deeper story there which I can already feel rising up in me, for another time 🙂
I made reference to the lovely woman who is the sister of another lovely woman. Well, that woman has shown me what love is. What love does. Things I don’t do very well with my own children or grandchildren. She is gentle and kind and has a heart for Jesus. Her hands are gentle and her smile is comforting. I touched her face. I touched her hands. I smelled her perfume. She kisses me on the cheek, both sides. She gently hugs, on both sides, so as to not be lopsided 🙂
One of the blooms that Jesus tended to most recently was…this is hard to write about but it is important. Someone else needs to hear this.
This lovely woman…she washed my hair. In the sink. The meaning behind that, I cannot put words to. This is something that Jesus told me to write down as one thing He wanted to give to me as a gift. At first, I was aghast. I am a 54 year old woman, I did not NEED this. But, I listened. I followed. I allowed. The morning of the day of the hair washing I begged Him to tell me why this was so important. It seemed stupid, juvenile and trivial. He reminded me of a scripture in Ezekiel 16. I won’t put it here as I do not want to trigger anyone but it is the scripture that confirmed for me why He would want me to let this lovely woman wash my hair. You can read it, if you would like.
This lovely woman, yes, she washed my hair. It was beautiful. Remember, the ‘walking on sacred ground’ thing? yes, this was that. It was safe. It was so incredibly healing, I don’t have words for it…for those of you who come from like places as myself, I am certain that you understand the significance 🙂
That is just one of the BLOOMS from a wound where I once bled.
Ok, I am remembering to breathe- I hope you are as well. My heart yearns for you, whoever you are; to know that you are not alone. To know that there is healing that reaches that deep. It is not easy. It is gut-wrenching-awful- and ‘who in their right mind would go there’, yes- we go there, don’t we?
My friends, I thank you for reading. I applaud your courage. I pray that you will find peace in the revisiting and that healing will allow you to see the blooms, your blooms. Blooms from places that you might think are dead.
Take gentle care, dear ones. Know that you are loved and that I am rooting for you. For each of you that I know, and those who I don’t know.
Be blessed- stand strong,
Beloved Reborn
