Vimeo Video –
Hello my sweet friends! Happy Sunday!
This journal spread is entitled “I love you”. Seems simple? Yes, it does- because IT IS simple. I have most recently felt compelled to examine my motivation for a good many things in my life right now. Stepping off of Facebook and YouTube has tweaked my thinking in so many ways. In my quiet time, I have been reading a book called The Gift, by Edith Eger. Edith is a Holocaust survivor and an amazing woman and writer. In this book, she shares her thoughts and expertise around 12 lessons to save your life. My book is quite marked and underlined and tabbed as there is so much truth inside the pages. This week, one quote in particular really spoke to me.
On page 14 she says, “I never learned to be happy on my own, with myself, to love myself”. Wow, gut punch! So full of truth. She also writes, “sometimes, it just takes one sentence to point the way out of victim hood: Is it good for me?” Wow, another gut punch.
These are the words that brought me to the creation of this journal spread. A little history about me. I married at 18, right out of high school. We have been married for almost 38 years. I have never lived on my own. I have never had to rely solely on myself. I have spent more than half of my life, healing from my childhood experiences. I have fought and struggled, raised children, had a variety of jobs etc. But, in all that, I have never learned to love myself. Who I am has always been a reflection of what other people think or how I think that they see me. I surround myself completely with busyness and a flurry of projects and ideas. I have learned that in that busyness, I am not as inclined to take care of me. I do well to see to my needs and wants but listening from the depths of who I am inside is not one of my strengths. I just move from one thing to another to another, always seeking things that help to define me.
As I was reading this book, I realized that it is time for me to do things that are good for me. Good for my heart and soul. Personally, that starts with revisiting how I feel about myself or see myself. Additionally, it is about where I find my value and what I choose to fill myself with. I was impressed with the simple statement and truth of “I love you”. We say it to one another, we exchange it often but, in my reflecting, I realized I don’t say it to myself. I don’t say to myself, “I love you”.
I have done 30 years of healing work and still struggle with this. Jesus really spoke to me about slowing down and evaluating why I make the choices I make, why I create, how I spend my time and how I feed my heart and soul. He spoke to me about intentionality, purpose and depth. So, here I go.
This journal spread is for me (I hope that it speaks to you) but it was for me. To reflect on what I love. Yellow is my favorite color and it has been as long as I can remember. The little girl picking flowers speaks to me of innocence, surrounded with beauty. It speaks to me of embracing simplicity and authenticity. It has a message about slowing down and being intentional.
As always in my art, the layers are everything. The layers of paint and mediums and papers all tell the story of what is underneath the final “product”. We are not merely what we project to the world. We are not only are public selves. We are the combination of all of our experiences; past, present and future. We are layers. We are depth. We are substance. We are real. We are full of life and color. We can choose.
My friends, isn’t choice a beautiful thing? We make a hundred choices or more every day, we do this without thinking. But, how intentional are we about those choices?
Are we choosing things that are good for us? Things that give life rather than steal it?
Does it deplete us or empower us?
Does it reaffirm who we are, or does it lie to us?
I affirm that I will seek things that are good for me. That means taking the time to really stop, to really feel all the things around me. To consume what builds up rather that tears down.
For this reason, I have decided to start junk journaling. It is an opportunity to marry up two of the things that I love the most – art and words. It is simple and imperfect. It comes from inside. It is not a production. It is free creativity.
I hope that you will continue to read and follow. In the next video, I will share my first junk journal construction and begin the kind and beautiful process of creating in it. I will share what I can in terms of the content construction, while preserving the private thoughts that will be tucked inside this journal in surprising places. I need to release myself from the act of producing and fall in love with myself and my process again.
I hope that you will join me there 😊
Blessings my friends,
Until next time,
Beloved-Reborn
Supplies used:
Liquitex Gesso, heavy gel and matte medium – See Basic Mixed Media supplies below
E6000 – https://www.amazon.com/s?k=e6000&ref=nb_sb_noss_1
Dylusions Large Journal –https://www.amazon.com/Ranger-DYJ34100-Dylusions-Reaveleys-8-25-Inch/dp/B009MRLEJI/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=dylusions+journal&qid=1615672593&sr=8-1
Vintage Travel Ephemera – Mercedi 7 Digital Print – VintageByme Etsy Shop –https://www.etsy.com/shop/vintagebyme?ref=shop_sugg
Ledger Paper Digital Print – Vectoria Designs Etsy Shop – https://www.etsy.com/search?q=vectoriadesigns
Large Butterfly Digital Print – Iralamija Etsy Shop – https://www.etsy.com/shop/iralamijashop?ref=simple-shop-header-name&listing_id=224371610
Sentiment – “lovely” Digital Dictionary Words – My Porch Prints Etsy Shop – https://www.etsy.com/shop/MyPorchPrints?ref=simple-shop-header-name&listing_id=713362523
Yellow In The Garden Digital Emphera – Mrs Crogs Crafts Etsy Shop – https://www.etsy.com/shop/MrsCogsCrafts?ref=shop_sugg
Avocado Dyed Digital Paper – Taylor Made Journals Etsy Shop – https://www.etsy.com/shop/TaylorMadeJournals?ref=simple-shop-header-name&listing_id=959399006
Penny Black Script Stamp – See Basic Mixed Media supplies below
Ranger Black Archival Ink – See Basic Mixed Media supplies below
Ranger Vintage Photo Archival Ink – You have to make your own – DYI Ink Pad – https://www.amazon.com/Ranger-AIP48077-Empty-Archival-Pad-Empty/dp/B016A88EAI/ref=sr_1_7?dchild=1&keywords=diy+ink+pad&qid=1615665049&sr=8-7 & https://www.amazon.com/Ranger-Ink-Distress-Archival-Re-Inker/dp/B082WPMWP6/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=vintage+photo+archival+ink&qid=1615665105&sr=8-2
Artist Pitt Pen – https://www.amazon.com/Faber-Castell-Pitt-Artist-Pens-Assorted/dp/B000TKEZDO/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=artist+pitt+pens&qid=1615665011&sr=8-2
Decoart Crackle Paint – See Basic Mixed Media supplies below
Golden Glazing Medium – See Basic Mixed Media supplies below
Golden Fluid Acrylic – Raw Umber – See Basic Mixed Media supplies below
Liquitex Heavy Body Paint – Turquoise Deep & Titan Buff – https://www.amazon.com/s?k=liquitex+heavy+body+acrylic+paint&crid=2M9E2GZ0S4JMV&sprefix=liquitex+Heavy+%2Caps%2C294&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_1_15
Shawn Petite Stencils – Swish & Splat – https://shop.shawnpetite.com/Swish-and-Splat-stencil-8×10-p295845046
Shawn Petite Stencils – Dictionary Words – https://shop.shawnpetite.com/Dictionary-Page-8×10-stencil-p202098225
Shawn Petite Stencils – Vintage Pattern 2 – https://shop.shawnpetite.com/Vintage-pattern-2-stencil-8×10-p295816042
List of basic mixed media supplies:
TCW Light & Fluffy Modeling Paste – https://www.amazon.com/s?k=light+and+fluffy+modeling+paste&crid=3PFDSLJUPLGOO&sprefix=light+and+flu%2Caps%2C272&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_13
Shoresua Script Stamp- https://www.amazon.com/Shoresua-Transparent-Silicone-Scrapbooking-Embossing/dp/B07PGN3MR3/ref=sr_1_77?dchild=1&keywords=bo+bunny+stamps&qid=1601231832&sr=8-77
Golden High Flow Acrylic – Transparent Yellow Oxide – https://www.amazon.com/s?k=goldenhigh+flow+acrylics&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
Liquitex Matte Medium- https://www.amazon.com/Liquitex-Professional-Matte-Medium-8-Ounce/dp/B000IYWYNE/ref=sr_1_1?crid=74CDOKRUL040&dchild=1&keywords=liquitex+matte+medium&qid=1586229506&sprefix=liquitex+ma%2Caps%2C291&sr=8-1
Liquitex Glazing Medium- https://www.amazon.com/Golden-Multi-Purpose-Acrylic-Polymer-GAC-100/dp/B001YJPX58/ref=sr_1_46?dchild=1&keywords=golden+glazing+medium&qid=1586230065&sr=8-46
Liquitex Heavy Gesso- https://www.amazon.com/Liquitex-Professional-Super-Surface-Medium/dp/B001UNREO6/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=liquitex+heavy+gesso&qid=1586229647&sr=8-1
Penny Black Script Stamp- https://www.amazon.com/Penny-Black-Script-Unmounted-40-470/dp/B01HNO5R08/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Penny+Black+script+stamp&qid=1586229678&sr=8-1
Shawn Petite Stencils- https://shop.shawnpetite.com/Stencils-c14287046
Decoart Crackle Paint – https://www.amazon.com/s?k=decoart+crackle+paint&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
Rembrandt Soft Pastel – Black – https://www.amazon.com/s?k=rembrandt+soft+pastel+black&ref=nb_sb_noss
Golden Fluid Acrylics – https://www.amazon.com/s?k=golden+fluid+acrylics&crid=1140N398O4PP1&sprefix=golden+fluid+%2Caps%2C520&ref=nb_sb_ss_ac-a-p_1_13
Beautiful! I love the colors and texture.
Thank you! It was so enjoyable 💛
I absolutely loved this. You are doing amazing work and you are growing deeper and stronger and I am very proud of you. I understand so much of what you are saying. Take your time and find healing in those places… God’s peace be with you.
Thank you 💛 I miss you on Facebook.