Hello friends,
Oh what a journey this journal has been! I wanted to talk a little bit about what inspired the creation of this beauty. The kit I used is called Grandma’s Garden. It contains loving and tender sentiments and images that invoke memories of days gone by and times with Grandma…
As I mentioned in a couple of the videos, I have a couple of memories that are pleasant with my grandmother. Reminiscing about her is mixed and painful at times. Today, I want to talk about how we can re-frame hard things once we have worked through the pain. In doing this, we are left with something that is warmer, we “own” it all, and it is redeeming. This is what making this journal did for me…
Memories can be pesky and painful. They also can be surprising and redeeming.
When I entered my healing journey 32 years ago, it felt impossible to embrace or appreciate any of the good memories. I could not even be present with them. You see, to allow myself to remember the good things and give them place in my story alongside the painful ones, felt like one would negate the other. For so long, I was afraid to acknowledge the handful of good memories because it felt like it meant that all the memories and pain didn’t matter or the work was for nothing.
The truth…
My daddy brought Christmas presents one year in a giant dishwasher box. He also played a guitar and had the most heavenly voice when he sang. I loved sitting at his feet and listening to him as a young child. He loved toast with peanut butter and jelly, I do too.
My grandma had a swimming pool at her apartments and I have fond memories of swimming there. We picked blackberries at the end of the road. We sat on the top of her car watching a silent movie on the big screen of the drive-in theater, a fair distance from the apartment. She brought popcorn out. She baked bread, I loved that.
My mother woke us up in the middle of the night to go walking in the new fallen snow. When she was happy and doing ok, she was so funny! She reminded me of Lucille Ball. I loved her pork chops and the fact that she and I like ours without the gravy. It felt like we shared something unique.
For every good memory there were heaps of trauma. More trauma and betrayal than any young one should ever have to know. When we face into our stories and seek healing, the curtain is drawn between the good and the bad. For 30 years, I could not see the good, I was drowning in healing from the things that happened.
Our stories need time to heal.
Time in the dark was needed in order to see the light.
There was a lot of dark, but the dark cannot extinguish the light.
Facing into healing allowed room for the good things to be seen, embraced and celebrated. Peanut butter and jelly toast, baking bread with Grandma, a walk in the snow, singing…all redeemed, re-framed and recaptured in my memory. Not always easy, but they are accessible and I am continually working on it.
Now I know that we can hold the good and the hard in the same place and honor both.
My friends, it is honoring ourselves and our stories to look back and walk the journey to healing. It is also honoring to embrace the golden moments, the good memories that are also present.
True confessions. I stayed busy all day today. I knew that I was going to write this but I was putting it off. I guess I was not fully acknowledging that this is still a hard topic to write about. In my head, I “know” that I can hold the good and the hard together, but it is still so very, very hard. I choose to.
Dear ones, I know this is deep stuff and can be overwhelming and scary but I want to encourage you that you are not alone. If you find yourself in the places I describe, please know that you will be okay. You are strong. You are worthy of healing. You are beautiful. Take your time. Healing is hard. Facing into the hard takes incredible courage. I can tell you after 30 years of ‘nose to the grindstone’ healing work, it was worth every memory and every tear, every sleepless night & every moment when I thought I would not survive. It was worth everything I gave up and everything I embraced along the way.
All for this time, to honor the whole story 😊
We are a mix of light and dark. I am so grateful that the light always wins.
You are loved.
Blessings my friends,
Beloved-Reborn
Reminder that this will be a giveaway. This journal measures 4 x 5.5 inches and has a 2 inch spine. It is filled with sweet and gentle bits that will make your heart smile. If you are interested in the video, please just leave a comment either on one of the YouTube videos or over on my blog for a chance to win. I really enjoy the engagement around these things so if there is something you want to share about why the journal is meaningful to you, I would love to hear about it 😊
I hope you enjoy!
Supply list under photos!
Supplies used:
Digital Kit – Grandma’s Garden – My Porch Prints Etsy – https://www.etsy.com/listing/1080722137/junk-journal-kit-grandmas-garden-spring
Lace and bits of paper from my scrap bin
Junk Journal Basic Supplies List –
FabriTac Glue – https://www.amazon.com/s?k=fabritac&ref=nb_sb_noss
Art Glitter Glue – https://www.amazon.com/s?k=art+glitter+glue&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
Ranger Archival Ink – Vintage Photo – They no longer make the pad so I bought the reinker and a DIY ink pad – https://www.amazon.com/Ranger-AIP48077-Empty-Archival-Pad-Empty/dp/B016A88EAI/ref=sr_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=ranger+diy+ink+pad&qid=1626104364&sr=8-4
Https://www.amazon.com/s?k=vintage+photo+reinker&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
You are a strong and caring person. I have felt a connection to you as I have been reading your posts along the way. I have thought about my past and how family members remember things differently. Each person travels along how they need to. At this point in my life I choose forgiveness. Blessings to you on your journey.
Thank you Evie. You are kind 💛 it is true that people remember their own version of history. Unfortunately, I have 3 sisters who share my story, or parts of it. Each of us are responsible for our hearts and well being. Forgiveness is most definitely the most important. I still work daily at forgiving add it helps me live my best life 💛 blessings Evie
This is so lovely! You have seemingly incorporated art and craft in your healing process and I find that so affirming. I’ve spent the past 6 months grieving the loss of my husband who died after 14 months in hospice care. I found 3 things most helpful; my faith, walking, and doing art. Thank you for sharing your healing journey and this delightful journal.
Wow! Thank you for sharing your story 💛 I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine. I don’t know where I would be without those things. I cherish your words and you for vulnerability 💛