Video – https://youtu.be/OaqrZa5RP9g
Hello friends, welcome to Sunday’s ART of Truth.
Today, I am working in my 2023 Mixed Media Art Journal. Wow! What a journey. This is not my favorite journal page by far, but I did have fun and learned a lot. I played with mediums I have never used and resisted the compulsion to make everything dark. I spent a lot of time pondering what led me to create around this idea of dog-eared pages of our lives. It was healing, clarifying, troubling, but most of all, it was in sync with where my heart needed to go.
The inspiration for this journal spread came to me this week as I have been preparing my heart for a dinner meeting with someone who I haven’t seen in over 25 years. In preparation for something of this magnitude, I needed to work on settling my heart and soul. I needed to open my heart to whatever God has in store for each person involved. The circumstances around the parting of ways over 30 years ago are delicate, complicated, and painful.
That being said, my desire was to surrender my heart to the unknown. There have been many tears, tummy aches, and large portions of apprehension. I don’t want to live in a place of fear. With deliberation, I began thinking about the whole of my life, including my childhood. I resisted the totality of it. I had spent 30 years healing from the dark parts of my life, making very little room for the wide angle that exists.
Hence, the title – The dog-eared pages of our lives.
Have you ever dog eared a page in your favorite book so that you can easily come back to it? I sure have. As I mentioned in the video, most often, we dog-ear our favorite parts. However, as I thought about this. I realize that I dog-ear the harder parts too. I want to remember them because there is a lesson there. There is a great learning and opportunity for growth and change.
We dog-ear because we want those parts to stand out and be easily rediscovered.
Again, most often we do that with positive things.
Now, imagine the way we dog-ear our life experiences. As I child, I put those hard parts in containers that protected me from their truth and pain. However, when we set up that internal filing system, we also stow away the good things. When we dissociate pain away (split it off from ourselves) we also do that with love, happiness, joy, etc. Everything seems lost and out of reach in that place.
In my healing journey, I worked very hard at healing working through the painful things around my upbringing. I made choices to protect myself, my children, and my life. Though, my pain is largely, healed and the wounds don’t hurt so much, there is still something missing.
It wasn’t until I started thinking about the way I dog-eared my life experiences that I realized that I lost track of, or better yet, didn’t make room for thinking about the good things about my family of origin. Nothing is all good, or all bad, right?
I realized that I need to give honest reflection to the good things, the happy things. I don’t have access to many of them, but I am on a journey to discover them and give them time and space.
I remember good things, but I want to remember more of the good. I want that restored just as the hard and painful things have been. This happens in the heart, doesn’t it?
I learned that I need to be willing, and I need to make room. I need to remind myself that honoring the good things doesn’t invalidate the reality of the very painful things. I am practicing.
Two things I remember:
I remember my mom waking us up in the middle of the night when it had snowed during our sleep time. I remember the quiet urging to put our shoes and jackets on to go for a walk in the snow.
I remember coming home on the school bus and bragging to other kids on the bus that the windows of our house were steamed up because my mom was cooking something delicious.
Yes, it is my mom that I am going to see, God willing.
I don’t know what it means. I don’t know what comes next. I get to decide that too, but this is what my heart needs. This is what her heart needs.
So, my friends, I know this was thick and deep. Even though, that is true, I hope that you find comfort in knowing that if this resonates with you, you are not alone.
There is healing. There is hope. There is peace.
No matter what or who your source is for those things, rest and truth comes in the opening of the heart and looking at all the dog-eared pages. There is great possibility in making room in our hearts for what can feel scary, unknown, and uncomfortable.
Again, I hope that you are encouraged. If you are not there yet, that is ok. We all move through healing in our own time and way. It is a beautiful and sacred thing.
I would just encourage you to ask yourself what pages are you not turning back to? What needs healing? What do you hope for?
I encourage safe places and people to walk with you if the pages are not so much fun.
Be beautiful & blessed,
Beloved-Reborn
Supply list under photos!
Supplies used:
Paul Ruben Oil Pastels – https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08JTZFQ1J/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_image?ie=UTF8&th=1
Golden Fluid Acrylics – Titan Green Pale – https://www.amazon.com/Golden-Fluid-Acrylic-Bottle-2371-1/dp/B079QN7K9D/ref=sr_1_3?crid=2BH8XJQEI930Q&keywords=golden+fluid+acrylic+titan+green+pale&qid=1674852085&s=arts-crafts&sprefix=golden+fluid+acrylic+titan+green+%2Carts-crafts%2C741&sr=1-3
Golden Fluid Acrylic – Raw Sienna – https://www.amazon.com/Golden-Fluid-Acrylic-Paint-Ounce-Raw/dp/B0006TU7J4/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2IYYWGTJ0WG3G&keywords=golden+fluid+acrylic+raw+sienna&qid=1674852108&s=arts-crafts&sprefix=golden+fluid+acrylic+raw+si%2Carts-crafts%2C752&sr=1-2
Golden High Flo Acrylic – Burnt Sienna – https://www.amazon.com/Golden-Arcylic-Paint-Ounce-Sienna/dp/B00E4PKZB6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=QS3UPXBUPW4T&keywords=golden+high+flo+burnt+sienna&qid=1674852139&s=arts-crafts&sprefix=golden+high+flo+burnt+sie%2Carts-crafts%2C779&sr=1-1
DecoArt Craft Acrylic – Avocado – http://DeocArt.com
DecoArt Craft Acrylic – Light Buttermilk – http://DecoArt.com
Script Stamp – Use what you have. I cannot locate this one
Shawn Petite Stencil – Numbers Jumbled – https://shop.shawnpetite.com/Numbers-Jumbled-stencil-8×10-p155121087
Shawn Petite Stencil – Layered Up Alphabet – https://shop.shawnpetite.com/Layered-up-1-alphabet-stencil-8×10-p444193305
Best wishes to you ❤️. It sounds like a good way to think of things.
Thank you Evie ❤️ I feel at peace, even with conflicting feelings ❤️