Video – https://youtu.be/Z_SWKCWC2V4
Hello friends, welcome to Sunday’s ART of Truth. Today, I am working in my 2023 Mixed Media Journal. I had shared briefly in another video that I had a unique visit with someone I haven’t seen in about 29 years. My Mom. This journal project is a piece about what it was like to see her and how I process it. Art journaling is a beautiful way to express deep and complex feelings, celebrate successes, work out difficulties, and find peace in the journey.
The process of creating this spanned several days. It morphed many times as it unfolded. I believe that is the beautiful and unexpected mystery of mixed media play. The processing in the week that followed having dinner with my mom and older sister, was as beautiful as this journal expression.
You will notice that I selected many images in anticipation of this project, however I did not use them all. You will notice there is an image of a woman on a dock, expressing the utmost freedom imaginable. The image in the center of the spread is of an anchor, and other nautical symbols. I also selected and used an image of a dried up, old rose in the hands of a woman, extended. The last image is one of pearls. I will share about each of these as we continue on.
But first, the visit…
Don’t you know that our stories are full of good, hard, painful, and beautiful things? The same is true here. It took me nearly a year to be ready to have a visit with my mom after so many years and so much history healed. It was a very long pause in my life. I wanted to be ready. I wanted to be gracious. I wanted to not feel afraid or small. I wanted to be a grown up and healed daughter.
I am glad that I paused for however long it was going to take. It was worth it.
I arrived at the restaurant first, not really wanting to be there. Not really wanting to follow through, but I knew I was supposed to. I trusted. I wanted to sit in the corner of the booth looking imposing and noncommittal. I wanted to be aloof.
As the minutes inched on, Jesus prompted my spirit to stand up and greet her and my sister. I was sick in my stomach. However, I did it.
My mom approached looking small, fragile, and beautiful. I was overcome by what I saw. I thought when I saw her, I would feel small, but I didn’t. I stepped towards her, and we embraced for a bit. She wore a fashionable turbin covering on her head – adorable. You see, she is fighting cancer. I think the turbin was for the undone hair though
We sat and everything felt so natural. My mom talked and joked and smiled, I felt like I had been sprinkled with…well, sprinkles. It was an unexpected gift.
I was caught off guard by how I felt, as it was not what I expected. I knew that God did that. He is so good. You see, I spent 30 years of my adult life in a healing journey that was unexpected but necessary. All those years of healing, all the working through the intensity of emotions, issues, triggers, memories, etc, led me to this moment. Without healing, I could not have done this. I would not have done this.
I enjoyed the fun banter between my sister and mom, and then myself. It felt good and healing. History wasn’t slapping me in the face. I was there for that moment. I was there to see my mom. I was grateful.
I still feel it flowing out of me. We ordered delicious food and had beautiful conversation. Never once, did I want to exit. Never once did I question why I had come. I didn’t expect that. We talked about so many things.
I felt total freedom, like the woman in the image. Free, through and through. Not burdened by the past, not feeling a need to resurrect, just being present and full of grace.
The picture of the hands with the dried up rose in it represents the act of surrendering and presenting a gift that I never thought I could or would ever give. However, because, of healing, I was able to extend a gift to her that I didn’t know I had within me. By opening my hands and my heart, a gift was exchanged, and I am forever grateful.
The title of this journal spread is ‘Anchored in Grace’…
The definition of grace – the free and unmerited favor of God.
I have received truckloads of grace in my life. I have been forgiven of many things in my journey. It was unmerited and it was free.
How do we offer that to another? How do we extend it when pain still exists? How do we sort the messiness of it? How do we hold someone accountable if we forgive them and extend the impossible?
By opening our hands and hearts. By healing over time. By giving ourselves permission to feel all the feelings. By being brave and entering into the painful territory of memory, sadness, loss, and the totality of our history.
We do that by allowing our heart and souls to heal.
I wrote in a previous Sunday’s ART of Truth about the idea of embracing both the bad and the good. Of, revisiting the dog-eared pages of our lives and looking for all the things our souls marked.
By holding both things in the same place, we have opportunity to do that. It took me decades to get here.
The image of the pearls is the representation of the good, the precious, and the redeemed. It is like the spoils at the end of an exhausting journey.
Seeing my mom that night was just one of the pearls.
Does it mean that everything is easy or perfect? No. However, hard and beautiful are often friends.
I still feel the conflict inside of me, but I am so glad that I went. I am so glad that God helped me make room in my tattered heart to see her. It was a gift. I shall see her again.
Sometimes, we have a picture in our head about how things are supposed to be, but often the real picture is more beautiful than our imagination. This is what I experienced in this piece.
Layers of life on top of layers of life, can turn something that looks or feels broken into a gift of beauty and grace. The gold stenciling that I did on the project was very meaningful as I thought about how, sometimes the goodness and gold of life can get lost in the humanity of it all.
The gold got buried in my journal, but it came back as the beautiful top layer and reminded me that there is always good. Redemption is real. Grace is powerful. Forgiveness brings freedom, and risk is powerful.
Ahhh, I almost forgot the cupcake! When our dessert arrived, it was a HUGE! Ice cream brownie sundae with all the drippings. Caramel and fudge, loads of it. We dug in and then I said, “I see the beginnings of my next Sunday’s ART of Truth.”
You see, that shared chocolate sundae was the epitome of love, grace, forgiveness, and joy.
My friends, as usual, this was deep once again. But that is what Sunday’s ART of Truth is about. Bringing truth out of art.
I also want to say that this kind of reuniting is not for everyone. It is ok for you to be wherever you are, just as I have been for so long.
Give yourself permission to be in that place. Be gentle with your heart and soul.
Know that what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another.
Our journeys are as unique as our stories.
My friends, I leave with you blessings and love. I leave you with hope and courage. I leave you with peace and a deep sense that you are safe and loved, beautiful and precious.
Just as my mom is. Just as I am.
Be beautiful & blessed,
Beloved-Reborn
Supply list under photos!
Supplies used:
Vintage Photos Archival Ink – Reinker – https://www.amazon.com/Ranger-ARD51121-Designer-Archival-Re-Inkers/dp/B01EN1YLAG/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=vintage+photo+archival+ink&qid=1675556559&sr=8-1
DIY Stamp Pad for use with Vintage Photo Archical Ink re-inker – https://www.amazon.com/Ranger-AIP48077-Empty-Archival-Pad-Empty/dp/B016A88EAI/ref=sr_1_8?crid=2CYO2ZHEOBR50&keywords=DIY+ink+pad&qid=1675556651&sprefix=diy+ink+pa%2Caps%2C1148&sr=8-8
Magazine Images – use what you have and what inspires YOU.
Pixabay Image – Anchor – https://pixabay.com/photos/map-of-the-world-compass-anchor-3319678/
Golden Glazing Medium – https://www.amazon.com/Golden-Acrylic-Glazing-Liquid-Gloss/dp/B005Z3XWH0/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2UOJ4N09O7W2G&keywords=golden+glazing+medium&qid=1675556683&sprefix=golden+glazing+medium%2Caps%2C715&sr=8-1
Golden Artist Acrylic – Manganese Blue, Yellow Ochre & Paynes Gray – https://www.amazon.com/s?k=golden+artist+acrylic&crid=17HRYR2BEKC66&sprefix=golden+artist+acrylic%2Caps%2C809&ref=nb_sb_noss_1
Liquitex Heavy Body Acrylic Paints – Titanium White, Unbleached Titanium, and Light Pink – https://www.amazon.com/s?k=golden+heavy+body+white&crid=2DNQQ8E46IJWZ&sprefix=golden+heavy+body+whi%2Caps%2C696&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
Golden Fluid Acrylic – Iridescent Gold Fine & Raw Umber – https://www.amazon.com/s?k=golden+fluid+acrylic&crid=1LQS3IMUMIROK&sprefix=golden+fluid+acrylic+h%2Caps%2C733&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
Heidi Swap Gold Paste – Cannot locate this. I have had it for years
Script Stamp – Use what you have. I cannot locate this one
Shawn Petite Stencil – Layered Up 3 – https://shop.shawnpetite.com/Layered-up-3-tiles-and-flowers-stencil-8×10-p444088310
Shawn Petite Stencil – Bricks and Bubbles – https://shop.shawnpetite.com/Bricks-and-bubbles-8×10-stencil-p74969854
Cara-Renee, thank you for bringing us along your journey. This physical healing and mental/ spiritual healing. I love your process and the stretching going on in your technique.
Blessings for the continued healing in your relationship and in your mom’s healing.
Thank you so much Shelley ❤️ God is good. Timing is everything 💛